Last Saturday, I had one of those days that would make you want to move to Australia. It started with daddy being on duty all day, which sucks, because he doesn’t come home at night.
The day went by without too much excitement, with mommy playing with me and taking me on walks. But then around 10:00, we went out for the last walk of the day, since mommy doesn’t like for us to walk late at night. I saw something on the stairs, and I wasn’t sure what it was, so I sniffed it…and this thing started biting me!! I later learned that it was a bee and it stung me right on my nose. Right on my nose?!?! How was I supposed to sniff anything? And then it started swelling and mommy called daddy and I was sitting on the counter so I wouldn’t squirm, and mommy brought this silver thing to my nose and pulled something out.
She showed it to me and it was so gross…I can’t believe that stupid little bee put that thing in my nose! But I wasn’t scared at all, so we still got to go on our walk. We hadn’t even reached the pool yet, which is about half way of one direction of our walk, and I met this HUGE ferocious dog that was more like a monster than an actual dog. For some reason, mommy talked to the owners, so we sniffed, and the evil huge beast BIT ME!! On the back!! He was HUGE! (EDITORS NOTE: It was really a white girl poodle that was slightly larger than AJ) And I cried! I couldn’t breathe, and started wheezing, so mommy thought I was having an allergic reaction to the bee (stupid little thing!) so she didn’t even notice that this beast had bitten me! It hurt, but so did my nose, and I was scared and couldn’t breathe, so mommy took me home and put me on the counter again.
That’s when she saw the blood, and then she started crying, and I thought I was going to die. I mean…why else would she be crying? It hurt, and she kept touching it with things, and then she locked me up and told me she was going to buy me medicine so I could breathe, but I was sure that I would surely die before she returned. Thank goodness I was still alive when she came back, but she bought this disgusting liquid stuff that she thought I would just drink…ha! Keep dreaming! So she poured it into some doggy ice cream, and I made her think that I didn’t understand what she was doing, because honestly…it’s doggy ice cream, and that’s awesome! So I took my medicine…and it actually helped me breathe and helped my nose not hurt as much.
Mommy is awesome! But, she was still freaking out because it didn’t stop bleeding, and she kept crying, and I still kind of thought I was going to die, but felt better about it since my last meal would be ice cream. Mommy kept saying she wanted to take me to the vet, but that it wasn’t an emergency, so we needed to wait until Monday. So I tried to pretend that nothing was wrong so they would forget and not take me to the vet…I hate those people! They put a muzzle on me and tell mommy and daddy to feed me less because I am fat! How dare they call me fat! I’m just cute and cuddly! Can’t they see that?? But the vet shaved my back and cleaned it all up, which felt really good, but I tried to bite them anyways just to prove a point. And they gave me medicine so I get people food every night right now! It’s awesome! :)
The day went by without too much excitement, with mommy playing with me and taking me on walks. But then around 10:00, we went out for the last walk of the day, since mommy doesn’t like for us to walk late at night. I saw something on the stairs, and I wasn’t sure what it was, so I sniffed it…and this thing started biting me!! I later learned that it was a bee and it stung me right on my nose. Right on my nose?!?! How was I supposed to sniff anything? And then it started swelling and mommy called daddy and I was sitting on the counter so I wouldn’t squirm, and mommy brought this silver thing to my nose and pulled something out. 
She showed it to me and it was so gross…I can’t believe that stupid little bee put that thing in my nose! But I wasn’t scared at all, so we still got to go on our walk. We hadn’t even reached the pool yet, which is about half way of one direction of our walk, and I met this HUGE ferocious dog that was more like a monster than an actual dog. For some reason, mommy talked to the owners, so we sniffed, and the evil huge beast BIT ME!! On the back!! He was HUGE! (EDITORS NOTE: It was really a white girl poodle that was slightly larger than AJ) And I cried! I couldn’t breathe, and started wheezing, so mommy thought I was having an allergic reaction to the bee (stupid little thing!) so she didn’t even notice that this beast had bitten me! It hurt, but so did my nose, and I was scared and couldn’t breathe, so mommy took me home and put me on the counter again. 
That’s when she saw the blood, and then she started crying, and I thought I was going to die. I mean…why else would she be crying? It hurt, and she kept touching it with things, and then she locked me up and told me she was going to buy me medicine so I could breathe, but I was sure that I would surely die before she returned. Thank goodness I was still alive when she came back, but she bought this disgusting liquid stuff that she thought I would just drink…ha! Keep dreaming! So she poured it into some doggy ice cream, and I made her think that I didn’t understand what she was doing, because honestly…it’s doggy ice cream, and that’s awesome! So I took my medicine…and it actually helped me breathe and helped my nose not hurt as much. 
Mommy is awesome! But, she was still freaking out because it didn’t stop bleeding, and she kept crying, and I still kind of thought I was going to die, but felt better about it since my last meal would be ice cream. Mommy kept saying she wanted to take me to the vet, but that it wasn’t an emergency, so we needed to wait until Monday. So I tried to pretend that nothing was wrong so they would forget and not take me to the vet…I hate those people! They put a muzzle on me and tell mommy and daddy to feed me less because I am fat! How dare they call me fat! I’m just cute and cuddly! Can’t they see that?? But the vet shaved my back and cleaned it all up, which felt really good, but I tried to bite them anyways just to prove a point. And they gave me medicine so I get people food every night right now! It’s awesome! :)
Poor, AJ! I'm sure things are looking better now. Reading your adventures was pretty funny although I know it wasn't funny at the time.
ReplyDeleteLove, Grandma B.
Poor Baby- and AJ too ;) I am sorry to hear about all of the trauma. I am glad he is feeling much better now. Take care and hopefully I will see you when you are in town.
ReplyDeletepoor AJ. Glad he wasn't too hurt. is he still eating people food? colin wants to know so he can be sure to stock up on Aj's favorites to feed him when he comes to visit.
ReplyDelete