It has been two and half years since we graduated college, got married, and moved to Texas. After making many life altering decisions, we have landed in California with real jobs. While delaying the real world, we have grown up much in a short time. For the first time, we are at a point where we are making more than we are spending and can make long term financial decisions, not just speculate about what we wanted to do one day. Though having job security right now is a blessing, we find ourselves wiped out and exhausted from the ‘daily grind.’ College filled us with much hope and optimism for the future, with free flowing ideas and perky friends who wanted to literally change the world. A few years out, and reality bites. We are living the “American” lifestyle and certainly appreciative of all we have, but get tired of coming home and wondering, ‘why did I go to work today?’ Often I come home realizing that if I had not gone to work, then nothing would have changed. Everything that needed to be done would have been done. So we live for the weekend now, but need to sleep away half of Saturday just to recover from the week, and go to bed early Sunday to avoid a ‘case of the Mondays.’ I guess we are still searching for a career that fulfills us, or at least interests us. There are days we do something cool, but those are few. We know that we are setting ourselves up for a future where we can have more say in our professions. I am not saying we are unhappy, but merely disappointed a bit in life. We do, however, really enjoy living in San Diego and are having trouble doing everything we have put on our “fun list” as we will be moving in a little over a year!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Reality Check
It has been two and half years since we graduated college, got married, and moved to Texas. After making many life altering decisions, we have landed in California with real jobs. While delaying the real world, we have grown up much in a short time. For the first time, we are at a point where we are making more than we are spending and can make long term financial decisions, not just speculate about what we wanted to do one day. Though having job security right now is a blessing, we find ourselves wiped out and exhausted from the ‘daily grind.’ College filled us with much hope and optimism for the future, with free flowing ideas and perky friends who wanted to literally change the world. A few years out, and reality bites. We are living the “American” lifestyle and certainly appreciative of all we have, but get tired of coming home and wondering, ‘why did I go to work today?’ Often I come home realizing that if I had not gone to work, then nothing would have changed. Everything that needed to be done would have been done. So we live for the weekend now, but need to sleep away half of Saturday just to recover from the week, and go to bed early Sunday to avoid a ‘case of the Mondays.’ I guess we are still searching for a career that fulfills us, or at least interests us. There are days we do something cool, but those are few. We know that we are setting ourselves up for a future where we can have more say in our professions. I am not saying we are unhappy, but merely disappointed a bit in life. We do, however, really enjoy living in San Diego and are having trouble doing everything we have put on our “fun list” as we will be moving in a little over a year!
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I think that one of life's lessons isn't finding the jobs, marriage, children, stuff that fulfills us - we need to change our outlook. Things disappoint, people disapoint, stuff falls apart. The economy tanks. The perfect job might not ever happen but it's the lessons you learn in the jobs that matter as well as our attitudes in those jobs. The people who live lives of pure joy aren't expecting other things to bring fulfillment - they have it within themselves in the mundane and ordinary and sometimes horrible experiences. Yes, real world isn't fun - the fake world of college is great. Especially when you are a hokie. I think that we can get cynical and in a way stop trying and blame society for how we aren't living lives of purpose. And then expect Obama to save us. The truth is each day we get up is filled with purpose and opportunity. Sometimes the biggest lesson is just learning how to find joy in a horrible work experience (since I know we've all had those). Our purpose on earth is to love God and love eachother. The lesson is how do we do that each and every day.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the real world! Life is not all about work but with out work we would not have life. Even Adam had work to do in the garden!
ReplyDeleteDadG
i feel exactly the same way. i hate working. i work 60+ hours a week and on top of that drive 10+ hours back and forth to work. I'm tired and cranky and all i want to do is sleep! I feel bad for brad because i make him do all the chores now becuase i just dont plain have time for it. i miss college more than anything. i feel like i never finished! i only took one final exam because i had to do get my certification. at the time i couldn't handle taking those finals, now i wish i had. I wonder if i had graduated in 2006 on time if I would be more well adjusted by now or if i would still be in the same boat im in now, but i totally agree with you. if i do somethign good at work i get yelled at for butting in where i dont belong (and they use my idea anyway) and if i'm 10 minutes late i dont hear the end of it (i was late in december and i still get told about it today). it is ridiculous. maybe things will get better, but i refuse to beleive that we HAVE to do crappy jobs just because that is what everyone else is doing. we will find what it is we are looking for, but, i dont think itll be any time soon (how will we when we dont have time to look!)
ReplyDelete<3
I just noticed that you have on Inspector Gadget Hats!
ReplyDeleteDadG
Dr. Claw had sent clouds and rain to SoCAL. We found the sun again thanks to Brain!
ReplyDeleteWe found the hats in a neat hat shop in Sea Port village!
Robert Frost - Two Tramps In Mud Time
ReplyDeleteOut of the mud two strangers came
And caught me splitting wood in the yard,
And one of them put me off my aim
By hailing cheerily "Hit them hard!"
I knew pretty well why he had dropped behind
And let the other go on a way.
I knew pretty well what he had in mind:
He wanted to take my job for pay.
Good blocks of oak it was I split,
As large around as the chopping block;
And every piece I squarely hit
Fell splinterless as a cloven rock.
The blows that a life of self-control
Spares to strike for the common good,
That day, giving a loose to my soul,
I spent on the unimportant wood.
The sun was warm but the wind was chill.
You know how it is with an April day
When the sun is out and the wind is still,
You're one month on in the middle of May.
But if you so much as dare to speak,
A cloud comes over the sunlit arch,
A wind comes off a frozen peak,
And you're two months back in the middle of March.
A bluebird comes tenderly up to alight
And turns to the wind to unruffle a plume,
His song so pitched as not to excite
A single flower as yet to bloom.
It is snowing a flake; and he half knew
Winter was only playing possum.
Except in color he isn't blue,
But he wouldn't advise a thing to blossom.
The water for which we may have to look
In summertime with a witching wand,
In every wheelrut's now a brook,
In every print of a hoof a pond.
Be glad of water, but don't forget
The lurking frost in the earth beneath
That will steal forth after the sun is set
And show on the water its crystal teeth.
The time when most I loved my task
The two must make me love it more
By coming with what they came to ask.
You'd think I never had felt before
The weight of an ax-head poised aloft,
The grip of earth on outspread feet,
The life of muscles rocking soft
And smooth and moist in vernal heat.
Out of the wood two hulking tramps
(From sleeping God knows where last night,
But not long since in the lumber camps).
They thought all chopping was theirs of right.
Men of the woods and lumberjacks,
They judged me by their appropriate tool.
Except as a fellow handled an ax
They had no way of knowing a fool.
Nothing on either side was said.
They knew they had but to stay their stay
And all their logic would fill my head:
As that I had no right to play
With what was another man's work for gain.
My right might be love but theirs was need.
And where the two exist in twain
Theirs was the better right--agreed.
But yield who will to their separation,
My object in living is to unite
My avocation and my vocation
As my two eyes make one in sight.
Only where love and need are one,
And the work is play for mortal stakes,
Is the deed ever really done
For Heaven and the future's sakes.
Sarah, you are smart beyond your years! I hope to meat you someday. Life is what you make it. Attitude is everything. If you smile you feel better, if you frown you make others sad. Everyone has heard if life hands you lemons then make lemonaid. That is so true. I think if I had an hour drive one way everyday that I would probly look in to audio books. I love red lights! When I am stopped it gives me a chance to look around and see the things around me. Any job can be rewarding, ANY! You have to look inside and find the joy!! There will always be some mean people, they just cant seem to help themselves, it really pisses them off when others are nice to them. Try it, its a lot of fun. I know this is kind of disjointed, but I am refering to all the other coments to. love you Aunt sandy
ReplyDeleteI think what James was trying to say is that it's interesting talking to all of our friends, and us, and seeing so many of them (and us) trying to figure out what we want to do with our lives, and where we can best use our gifts. God gave us those gifts so that we could use them, not necessarily to have jobs where we are discouraged from using them. I think there is as huge disconnect when you can feel God calling you to do something, yet you are in a job where you can’t do anything even close. We are thankful for our jobs, and there are some good things about them. We have met some awesome people in the Navy, but James is tired of overseeing a decommissioning and getting yelled at for things that happened before he was even there. And me, I get to try awesome international food every week and meet people from all over the world. But, no one wants me there and wanted to hire a girl who already works there, so there is a lot of animosity towards me. Plus, I love working with students, and all I really do is paperwork and file. While it might seem as though his post was a bit cynical, we are actually very happy, and are making the most out of our situations and life, and living in San Diego! :) He was just reflecting out loud, and looking forward to the day when he can do something else. Thank you all for loving us though!
ReplyDeleteAnd...Cathy! I miss living in a tiny room with you! :) Those were the awesomely fun days!!
Aunt Sandy...I really want to come and visit you! But I have to wait until I finish this big project...and James leaves me in three weeks! :( So...probably while he's gone. I was talking to some girls...and they would love to come with me! So...we'll talk soon!
Love you!
We would love to have you visit. I think with as well as you and James express your selves in writing that maybe you should look in that direction. I would so read a book by you and James. It is hard to tell sometimes who is writing on your blog. You both describe very well what you are feeling and seeing. I also know of the love in your heart to help others - thoughts to that end - the peice corp., missionary work, or even something that helps people here at home in these trying times. I don't get to do much because we still need to eat, but I feel so good after helping at church or doing one of their many outreach programs to help the homeless. Have you guys found a church yet? One off base probly would have more outreach things. Or mentoring, boys and girls club. As a single mom for so long I can't even begin to tell you how much it helped to have someone there to help Carmen and Erin feel special and I see in you the ability to make lots of people feel better. And, venting is ok, if we didn't do it more people would be died. But it does lieve the door wide open for advise at that point. I hope you know that is given in love and now you know that your blog is very popular. love aunt sandy
ReplyDeleteps, sorry about the spelling. love aunt sandy
ReplyDelete